Caregivers, Perpetrators, Protectors

A child’s job is simple: grow up and be safe. That’s it.

Caregivers are responsible for creating the environment and teaching the tools for children to grow up and be safe. Protect and provide. That’s it.

All too often one who is supposed to be a caregiver isn’t. Is a perpetrator instead. A perpetrator of neglect or abuse. Coupled with another caregiver who also isn’t doing his/her job. Isn’t protecting the child from the perpetrator.

Children have a variety of innate safety skills. The outcome isn’t predetermined.

Later, that wounded child grows up not knowing any better. Full of shame and guilt. The guilt of the perpetrator and the shame of the protector. Not knowing any better the child thinks the guilt and shame is his. It’s not. What once was theirs needs to be returned. Appropriately.

The child wasn’t at fault. The protector wasn’t innocent. Ignorance is no excuse. The job wasn’t done. The job committed to when bringing the child into the world or later entering into the family.